Why The London Underground Kills Your Social Skills

Is it just me or does even the most sociable of people loose all skill the moment they step on board that 2:23 to Oxford Circus. Well all apart from the totally annoying bloke that likes to think he's funny playing the saxophone and his mate that plays the harmonica. 

I think that it is an unwritten rule to not make eye contact with anyone on the train. Look at everything you can look at apart from the person sitting next to you. I can't have been the only one to have noticed that it is most certainly not allowed. If you ask me you should try and make the train more chatty, cause it is the only place in the world where the transport you are on will throw you forward to land on someones foot and the borderline, eye glaze upwards paired with a small mumble of 'sorry' is the only action to be carried out, no little joke or hand gesture nothing to try and lighten the mood. Or when that 50+ business man thrust his armpit into your face at around 6pm and nothing is even said, you can either move or accept it, and oh the times I have simply seen people accept a sweaty arm pit to the face.  I once saw the perfect event occur on the tube, someone simply start a conversation with the guy then to them. Yes the conversation starter may or may not have had a bit too much to drink but still their heart was in the right place. Don't get me wrong I don't want to talk about the stock markets or how the political world is changing because after getting up at 5 that is quite frankly the last thing on my mind but a simple funny comment here or there, with a little joke about the amount of people is all I ask for. My social skills die when my foot crosses that gap, in fact I think my soul forget to step up high enough and actually your social skills are the ones slipping through and not your feet.

The Unwanted Armpit: 
You know that you have officially made it onto the good old english, London underground when you get the good for nothing, sweaty, I've been at work all day armpit in the face. And for sure there is not a single soul out there who knows the complete etiquette for dealing with this situation.  Do you grin and bare it. Do you ask them to move. Or do you simply make coughing noises in hope they might hear over there UK top 40 to notice the small face directly 90 degrees to their pit. There are not many times that I actually love being tell, but oh this is the perfect time to brag. Brag until I can't take no more. I am the perfect height to be able to thankfully avoid that horror. And never in my life have I been so happy for the height.

Total Wipeout ... For The Chair:
I have lost all hope of ever getting a seat on the underground I do not race to the single cushion and I do not actually mind standing up for the mere 10 minuets most tube journeys take so it is not the most important point on my list. There is a brief 10 second gap where 2 or 3 people eye up the same chair. Sometimes people are too polite and no one involved will claim it. However some people will be on the complete opposite end of the scale and do literally anything to to claim that seat.

Oh No I Brushed His Hand:
It most definitely is not the electric shock moment like in the films. It is the one of the most awkward moments of the whole entire journey. You brush their hand, you hope they didn't realise and you act like nothing has happened. But you both know full well that it happened and then follows the eye contact. And the hand touch goes from 1-10 in around 3 seconds. The slightest graze turns into the actions of throwing your bag at someones head and pretending it never happened. 

I hope you never experience any of these.....

Loving Always ......

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