I Blame John Cusack

This is purely written around the imagine, I saw a banana which was an innuendo and my childish mind couldn’t resit putting it on my blog. But then maybe I though I should do a more grown up post seeing as the photo itself just makes me laugh. So this is it. A post roughly about finding love, romance and dating all based around a balloon shaped like a penis inside a banana skin… or maybe its just a banana shaped balloon and I have taken this way out of context already.

That’s it I blame the film industry, they have set my bar too high, my bar is full of Hugh Grant  shaped shadows, Mr Darcy moments and guys walking away punching their fists in the air knowing they won the girl… when realistically my reality is full off ‘I saw you across the beer tab’ or here’s a shot of Sambuca I brought for you’ finished of with ‘come on me and my friend will take you and your friend back to ours,’ I’m sorry no but it just doesn’t cut it. Maybe its my fault or maybe films have risen me to this level and then left me there to fend for myself.

No I haven’t got any old set mind which tells me men have to do all the romance in relationships, and it doesn’t always come down to everything the man does, cause some relationships don’t even involve men, but for this post, it’s about the men. Is is just me or is romance dead. Not in all men no, but the large proportion or at least the ones I seem to find it died along time ago. Since when did dancing up behind someone in a club, or buying a Sambuca shot for somebody mean romance. I’m not being na├»ve and excepting you to give me the world and hand it to me on a plate, and I’m not evening expecting to be swooned and courted, but a little more maybe would never hurt. Maybe I have spent too long watching RomComs and my ideas behind being won over by someone over have been clouded by wanting to be won over and morphed by the likes of Notting Hill, When Harry Met Sally and 10 Things I hate About You; then again maybe I just want a little more then ‘hey I saw you from across the bar, here’s a shot now give me your number.’ And please if you know me at all a shot is not the best way to get me talking, me on shots is the last thing you want to see. What is so wrong with coming over and just talking, yes I get it when there is Flo Rida blasting in the background it’s not really conversation vibes I’m getting but trust me after some sober nights out and questionable good times a conversation is easily achieved by ear shouting and directing your vocals in the right direction.  

Romance in films isn’t real, it doesn’t happen like that, here are a list of the last 4 romantic plot lines in films I’ve watched recently.
  •        A crazy business man makes a shy quiet virgin sign a contract to become his sex slave after he buys her loads of presents, she gets angry and walks out.
  •        A man asks a woman on a date while in a super market not knowing anything about her, she discovers he’s a highly skills assassin is fine about it and then becomes an assassin herself.
  •        Two people who fall in love yet who are both on the same memory loss program try to clinging onto any hope of each others memories while both experiencing strange hallucinations and visions.
  •       The local hard guy is betted he can’t win over the local punk feminist, he sings her a song, attends her favourite gig, takes her paint balling and she rights a poem about him all after he’s held her hair back while she vomits.

Okay so yes I get it not all of these are what you would call ‘RomComs’ and I know they normally have more of a girl next door falls in love with the jock type of story line but my point still stands, even if you take away the weird sex slave part in 50 Shades, the romance is there, the winning her over and the devotion are clear; now night time rides on a private helicopter would be nice and romantic, but they will not happen unless you fall into the arms of a billionaire and I don’t know about you but I’m not that much into 50 year old men.  

2 glasses of wine, down, a round of flicking through a friends Tinder Profile, and moaning about an ex later what do you get? some very civilised young women talking about romance. Why does it seem that people don't bother any more, you hear stories about couples who met at a dance when they were 17 and have been together for 70 years, couples who spoil each other with unimaginable gifts and surprises, and I get the wannabe gangsters who curb crawl me and my best friend for 15 minuets... maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place, because I won't let myself thing that romance is dead, I won't do it to my younger self, I'm gonna stick to my guns, hunt out this Romance. 

And just because I have given you fair warning to the lies that RomCom tell you, here's just a small list of the best films that give you that warm gushy feeling when you watch them. 
  1.  Brooklyn
  2. Nottinghill 
  3. 4 Weddings and a Funeral 
  4. DUFF
  5. Say Anything
  6. Pretty in Pink
  7. Pretty Women
  8. The Breakfast Club
  9. Love Actually
  10. The Note Book
  11. Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind
  12. 10 Things I Hate About You  

I'm gonna go watch Brooklyn now and cry because a sweet Italian guy doesn't love me. 

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